Urban Dictionary on St. Louis

Just wanted this on here permanently. It's pretty funny.

Homet​own:​

Saint​ Louis​ : Saint​ Louis​,​ Misso​uri is the fat capit​al of the world​.​ It is a city where​ if you are walki​ng somew​here,​ you are autom​atica​lly assum​ed to be homel​ess,​ unles​s you make it clear​ to peopl​e that you are exerc​ising​ by weari​ng a joggi​ng suit,​ and in that case,​ you are just an idiot​ rathe​r than homel​ess.​

One might​ wonde​r what has led such a quiet​,​ littl​e city to becom​e a garga​ntuan​ eatin​g machi​ne.​ The answe​r is that there​ is absol​utely​ nothi​ng to do in Saint​ Louis​.​ Proba​bly the bigge​st attem​pt and bigge​st failu​re to do somet​hing creat​ive was build​ the Arch,​ and for prosp​ectiv​e touri​sts,​ the funne​st part about​ seein​g the Arch is the gruel​ing 10-​hour ride to the top on eleva​tors that move slowe​r than the elect​ric handi​cappe​d groce​ry carts​.​

Saint​ Louis​ is also known​ for its abund​ant suppl​y of fastf​ood,​ where​ on every​ block​,​ one can find at least​ a McDon​alds,​ Burge​r King,​ Taco Bell,​ Steak​ and Shake​,​ Jack in the Box, and a Harde​es.​ So, witho​ut anyth​ing to do excep​t eat, eat, and eat, the prosp​erous​ city of Saint​ Louis​ has turne​d into a monst​rous hunk of fat.

But aside​ from being​ the fatte​st city known​ to man, Saint​ Louis​ is also home to the bigge​st low-​lives​ one could​ ever dream​ of getti​ng to know.​ In Saint​ Louis​,​ a simpl​e nod or a wink at someo​ne could​ get you shot and kille​d on the spot.​ Why would​ someo​ne kill anoth​er for winki​ng at them?​ Hey, in Saint​ Louis​,​ anyth​ing is in possi​ble

Saint​ Louis​ is broke​n up into 4 major​ distr​icts.​ Whoev​er came up with the names​ is beyon​d me, but such creat​ivity​ will last throu​gh the ages.​ North​ Count​y,​ West Count​y,​ South​ Count​y,​ and East Saint​ Louis​ are the 4 distr​icts of Saint​ Louis​.​ There​ also is Downt​own Saint​ Louis​ and Saint​ Louis​ City,​ but those​ are hardl​y worth​ of menti​on since​ the only thing​ that manif​ests in those​ areas​ is crime​.​

-​North​ Count​y is inhab​ited by a bunch​ of lazy hoosi​ers and contr​ibute​s nothi​ng to socie​ty.​

-​West Count​y is a bunch​ of subur​ban white​ folks​ that sit aroun​d and think​ about​ how much bette​r they are than the rest of their​ world​ while​ makin​g sure to lock their​ doors​ and windo​ws in their​ BMWs at the sight​ of a black​ man.

-​South​ Count​y is a mixtu​re of North​ and West Count​y.​

-​East Saint​ Louis​ is where​ one can go for sexua​l desir​es at strip​ clubs​ and at the same time get mugge​d by a mean-​looki​ng man.

Saint​ Louis​ is a large​ city that the rest of the world​ could​ not care less about​.​ Most likel​y the only recog​nitio​n it recei​ves is from its sport​s teams​ such as The Cardi​nals,​ The Blues​,​ and The Rams.​ Other​ than that,​ there​ is reall​y nothi​ng speci​al about​ the place​ with the excep​tion of Ted Drewe​s,​ the best froze​n custa​rd one can ever get. In fact,​ if one shoul​d ever go to Saint​ Louis​,​ it shoul​d be for the sole reaso​n of tasti​ng the heave​nly delig​ht.​ Just don'​t eat too much,​ or you'​ll becom​e fat like the rest of us here in Saint​ Louis​.​

Examp​le:​ Jimmy​,​ "​Daddy​,​ can we go to Saint​ Louis​ somed​ay?​"​
Dad, "​Heck no, Jimmy​.​ Heck no.

Leo and Leah

Today in my Folklore and Feminist theory class I was introduced to a girl, Leo (pronounced Lay-o), who is from Ecuador. We were asked to state our heritage, where we came from etc. I was amazed, in this class of 38 girls, that so many had crazy backgrounds and actually knew about their ancestors and roots. Like me, there were also several girls (along with the instructor) who didn't know the answer to that question because we're from right here. We're American women from small towns. We know little pieces about our grandparents but we haven't carried traditions or cultures with us, or at least we don't really think we do. Anyway, back to Leo. She's fascinating. It's crazy but I could listen to her talk for hours, she has the neatest voice and just a rich history and life experience to share. I also was introduced to a classmate in my International Issues class, Leah, from New Zealand. She too had this beautiful voice and an incredible story. I know this semester is going to challenge me immensely, however I am very excited about the classes I am taking. Aside from the two I just mentioned, I am also taking my Magazine Editing course (which is what I want to do and I really think it's going to answer several of my uncertainties about my future as a journalist). I'm taking an intermediate writing class with Prof. Weinberg, who is not only a respected and established author but just a very nice and encouraging mentor. Our section focuses on the criminal justice system and we are partnering with UMKC and UMSL's law and criminology schools on a project entitled The Innocence Project. Basically I'll be assigned to a case to investigate the an individual who is convicted but potentially innocent and locked in one of Missouri's horrendous prisons. Finally I am taking my English capstone, in which I will basically write a 30 page paper on some topic that engages me from Willa Cather's writing. To most this probably sounds tormenting, I'm actually really excited about it. Cather was the editor for McClures, the magazine that several of the muckraking journalist wrote for. Supposedly Cather didn't like the type of work muckrakers produced, yet she edited tons of the work they published. Anyway I figure researching this and writing about it will be a perfect opportunity to tie my Journalism and English degrees. One other thing I did today was talk to an advisor about internships for next semester and summer and I found two I think would work out perfect. Now I just have to apply and get accepted!! If the one works out, I might be on my way to Birmingham, AL following graduation =) We'll see though. Ok this was random but I wanted to write about my crazy day.

Quarter Life Crisis

My friend Jen found this and I thought I would spread the comfort of it's message! I know my best girlfriends and myself are all experiencing what it describes on some level.

They call it the “quarter-life crisis.” It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn’t know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now. You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren’t exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don’t recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren’t really cold, catty, mean, or insincere, but that they are just as confused as you. You look at your job… and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because you suddenly realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn’t. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past for dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward. You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can’t meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future, and making a life for yourself… and while winning the race would be great, right now you’d just like to be a contender. What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out. And really, this is an acknowledment that YOU ARE NOT ALONE IN THIS…..

Long Time Gone

Well it's been over a month since my last blog but I wanted to put up some pics of how the apartment turned out and also some updates on my life.

First, I never thought a change of residence could change the way I live and my happiness but I have enjoyed life more this past month or so than I ever have. First, living on my own was on my 50 before 50 List. It sounds silly, but I'm very proud of the place. It's just things, but it's all mine. I couldn't have completed decorating and everything without the help of my parents and best friend. Anyway it's just funny how much I've come to love home. I especially love coming home, sitting on my comfy couch and watching Friends with a glass of wine after a long night at work (like I am right now).

My summer was perfect. Really. I actually got to spend much needed time with my family, enjoyed a countless number of Girls Nights, and had a wonderful week with Ben just recently. It's funny because I visited my advisor yesterday and got all checked out for graduation. It's just weird knowing life is going to change so much in less than a year. Ben will be back home and I'll be looking for job. Don't know the exact details but I just know it's about to change. Which makes me savor every day and I love it.

Ok well I'm off to bed, about to start a very busy but exciting 2nd to last semester of college!!! Well not if I go to grad school but anyway!

Here's the pics!

This is before couches, I need to take pics with the couches but I'm too lazy. They're cute though, same color as the curtains!

Sea Beach Decorate ...

This is my new apartment furniture (will be in a couple of weeks anyway). My colors are black and sea foam. My favorite addition to the room is this wooden block letter sign I found at an antique shop with my mom that says "BEACH." It probably seems like I'm obsessed with my last name - but it is who I am and I will only have it until I'm married one day. So I figure I should appreciate it now, right? Moving on though. I don't know why but I absolutely love to decorate. Which is probably why I dream to write for a magazine such as Real Simple. Just wanted to share the new space with everyone. I also found some pictures at Target to go with what I already have, so I think all I have left for the living room is to find an end table, curtains and maybe a rug.

Fruit Pizza

So one thing I really want to do as I move into my own apt. is to learn to cook. My friend Mimi introduced me to a slice of heaven yesterday so I am naming this my first recipe for my new place. It is absolutely delicious, especially with some crisp white wine (out of a box I might add). I know this isn't technically cooking, but it's a start right? One thing that has always been a huge source of pleasure for me is food. So I figure now is as good a time as any to learn to make good food for myself. So fruit pizza it is! Directions: (knowing me I will forget if I don't write it down) Puff Pastry cut into 9 squares. 1 container whip cream blended with a 1/2 container of whipped cream cheese and 1/2 cup of powedered sugar. Sliced fruit (strawberries, raspberries, kiwi and apricots). Yes I know it's very easy. I like easy, and I like treating myself to sweet, refreshing food. So this one is a keeper =)

SB's - My Girls That Fit

So there we are. Mimi. Myself. Lauren Sue. Sumo. Jen. JLew. I wanted to blog about these ladies because after having a conversation with one of the owners of the restaurant we all work at the other day I realized how lucky we all are to have found such an amazing friendship circle. (That sounds sort of like Girls Scouts but anyway). When this picture was taken, we had yet to realize how much we would come to lean on one another in the coming months. There's a bumper sticker that completely sums up how we stumbled across one another and also what my owner was getting at the other night. In sum, he said "How freakin lucky are you to have picked this restaurant to work at, for these girls to have made that same choice, and for you all to have become so close? You could have picked Hemingway's or Murry's. But no you picked here - and look what happened."

Be it luck or fate or God - I'm not sure which of those three played larger in our meeting but I would say God first and foremost -we have turned into a small family. Do I think we are unique? Well I think that any group of servers in a restaurant share a bond that is only understood by those of us in the restaurant service industry. But do I think these girls and I found something beyond that shared understanding of shitty tippers, aching feet and rude people? y.e.s. I can honestly say that each and every one of us has had a moment (or 2 or 3 or 50) in the past couple of months that was completely unexpected and completely turned our world upside down and off the charted path we all had planned out. We aren't an exception, everyone has their share of problems, shit happens - such is life. But these girls have been such a blessing. They've been there day in and day out to help me deal with my serving of life's challenges, and I'm glad that I've been able to be there consistently for them as well. Susan and I were saying the other day (and I blogged about this in my previous blog): we've had our share of groups...we've drifted on and we've lost touch with a number of girls/groups of friends. But this time it really feels like we've finally found a group that fits. It's so nice to have 5 girls who I can call on a random day...any single one of them...and say "let's do lunch". And we can have endless hours of conversation about whatever over good food and sometimes (OK most of the time) booze. Before it always seemed as if one person was closer to the other or one person always knew more about another than you. But with us, it's really turned into an open circle of love and sharing and understanding. It's a comfort and a pleasure and a definite aspect of my life that I can count on. And because of them, I have been able to keep my life in perspective. I have been able to confide in them, listen to them and just enjoy an immeasurable amount of time with them. I think something every person struggles with in the world is knowing ... really knowing ... that they are loved. Not just by their family or their significant other. Just loved. Being loved, even by a group of very different but very amazing girls, has made me appreciate and enjoy life in a way I never have before. So I really just wanted to write about how important it is to find that group that really fits you, and to hold on to them tightly and let them know on a daily basis how much you really love them. I do believe that I will always have my best friends and my own best friend within, but I am so very grateful for this group of beautiful, honest, classy (the real classy not the "Sophia's Classy") ladies who have opened up their ears, arms, hearts and minds to me this year.

"There comes a point somewhere between the bad hangovers & the drunken heart to hearts, that you realize all you need in life are a few good friends & a few good drinks."

-Sex and the City (Sophia's Chapter)