Point (II).

"Set your goals high, and don't stop till you get there."

- Bo Jackson

My dad sends me these wonderful, short devotional readings every day. I try to read them in the mornings, because they set my mind right and my heart at ease. Yesterday's read:

Jesus whispers “I am with you”
In the hour of deepest need;When the way is dark and lonesome,
“I am with you, I will lead.” —Morris

First make sure you are with Him, then you can be sure He’ll be with you.

There's a reason this was meaningful to me - mainly because I'm feeling lonely these days. But it's the weirdest kind of loneliness because I really don't want it to change. I enjoy my peace and quiet, I enjoy and despise being this lonely. It's hard to explain. But for example, tonight at work I was talking with the girls and every one of them was complaining about not wanting to have sex with their significant others. And I didn't really say much in the conversation, mainly because I don't have this problem as of present. But rather than feeling left out or extremely happy I wasn't sharing their misery - I was just kind of... blank. I started thinking about things bigger than my friendships and my lack of a steady relationship and about all of the things I have been called to do recently. As I stood there and the conversation continued I slowly walked away from it, not because I didn't care but just because I feel so wholly divorced from all of my closest friends. A part of me wishes I had a man to fill the void in my life, but much more of me realizes no man is going to be able to do that until I let God fill the void he's created for me. He's got a huge to-do list for me, and it's only manageable if I go at it solo (with Him as my guide of course).

Before I forget them (these to-do's), I figure I should write down what I will be doing beginning May 16. I've already started preparing and saving, none of these are overly ambitious or shortcoming of any ability I might have. I only ask for your encouragement, belief and support. Thank you :)

1. 1. Trip to IL to see my cousin, meet her baby girls and get out of Columbia in celebration of graduation!

2. Trip to KY to spend time with my Aunt Susan who I miss and who reminds me daily to value my almost-complete independence (I rely on God, he requires my complete dependence on Him more often that I'd like to hand it over ... ahem all the time)

3.Go an a cruise with my girlfriends.

4. 4th of July at the Lake (It's been far too many summers since I've been to the Lake!)

5. Plan a fabulous shower/bachelorette party for my best friend :) and be in my first wedding, ever! in October as the maid-of-honor
6. Mission Trip to Africa (3-6 weeks). Find someone to go on this mission trip with me.

7. Take the LSAT, apply to law school October-December

<<

8. Trip to Florida to spend time with my beautifully-aging

grandparents :)

9. Get the innocence case I'm currently working on to the point that I can hand it over to the lawyers on the Project and hopefully free my client in the next few years
10. Pay off all credit cards, work my little butt off before making any of the trips and eliminate extra costs to save (by far the most challenging on this list)

11. Travel to STL at least twice a month to spend time with my parents

12. Spend at least 1 day a week with my little sister so she knows she can come to me even though she's all grown up and in college now

13. Complete a marathon. Just one, I've never done one and I think it's something I will enjoy

14. Become an official member of my church here, volunteer weekly in the nursery so I can have my baby-fix and share The Crossing with more people I know will love it as much as I do

15. Write a biography for the Iraqi interpreter that protected and worked alongside my dad while he was in Iraq- something which he has been so patiently asking and waiting for me to do since the day I met him

16. Camping Trip with Dad.

Yes, God. I know now. All of these things are precisely why I am not planning a wedding or jumping straight into a job. For I know the plans you have for me, and they are great. Today's devotional from my dad read:

"Keep listening for the “still small voice”

If you are weary on life’s road;

The Lord will make your heart rejoice

If you will let Him take your load."

—Hess

To tune in to God’s voice we must tune out this world’s noise.

--> Um, OK Mr. Jackson. I think I've got my goals set high enough, and I dont' really plan on stopping.