The Friday Night Knitting Club by Kate Jacobs (***)
If I had to summarize what the main lesson of this novel is, it would go something like this: Sometimes, you aren't strong because you want to be or because your are naturally endowed to be a tough skinned, dry-eyed individual who can handle anything. Sometimes, you're strong because you aren't given a choice. This book teaches strength in a number of relationships (mother/daughter, woman/woman, husband/wife, elder/younger), and reminded me of my mom's lesson to me while my dad was in Iraq. She always used to tell me - "I wasn't given a choice here. Dad made this choice. I get by and make it through the days because I have to. Not because I'm strong or because I don't have feelings, but because I have to. For him, for myself, and mostly for you kids." I'll never forget her saying that. When people asked her how she did it, she said "Well what else am I supposed to do? I don't have a lot of options here." And that's exactly the lesson the main character - Georgia Walker - teaches in this book. The lessons learned from her - and the directions for knitting that are two-fold...making one want to learn to knit ASAP and that equally apply to life - are applicable in a countless number of situations.
From the Instructions:
"The Gathering: Choosing your wool is dizzying with potential: The waves of colors and textures tempt with visions of a sweater or cap (and all the accompanying compliments you hope to receive) but don't reveal the hard work required to get there. Patience and attention to detail make all the difference. Also willingness. Challenge keeps it interesting, but don't select a pattern that is too far beyond you. Always select the best yarn you can afford. And use the type of needles that feels best in your hand..."
"Casting On: The only way to get going is to just grasp that yarn between your fingers and twist. Just start. It's the same with life. Of course, every beginning won't be the same: There are dozens of ways to cast on and they vary based on skill or design or even just relying on the tried and true. My point: Sometimes what works for one piece isn't the right way next time. You have to experiment and see what works. But there's a similartiy no matter the method: you either try or you don't."
"Doing the Gauge: Take measure of yourself against the expectation (Otherwise what you make just won't fit!)"
"Knit and Purl: Knit is what you show the world; purl is the soft, bubbly underside you keep close to the skin."
"Ripping It Out: All you have to do is forgive."
"Starting Again: No, there's a secret hope that makes you hold on, to dream that you'll get it right someday, that you'll go back and take it up again and it will finally come out right. That this time all the pieces will fit. The mistake is waiting until you feel renewed enough to give it another try. You simply have to pick up the needles and keep at it anyway."
"Binding Off: You can't keep your garment on needles forever; eventually it's going to have to exist on its own, supporting itself."
"Sewing It All Together: It's always easier to knit a sweater in sections: the front, the back, the sleeves. The benefit is that if one section is frustrating you, it can be put aside and you can move on to something else until you're ready to finish. that's not the same as giving up: that's being smart...Sometimes you just want to gaze on things awhile, to keep them fresh and perfect as long as you can."
"Wearing What You've Made: But just put it on anyway; celebrate your hard work and your talent. And your love. Why else would we create? Especially in a world that doesn't need homemade anything. That's when we need homemade everything. It never matters if things don't end up just the way you planned. Every moment is a work in progress; every stitch is one stitch closer. There may be worse, but there is always better. When you wear something you've made with your own hands, you surround yourself with love, and all the love that came before you . The real achievement, you see, is being proud of what you've made. I know that I am."
Other Quotes that spoke directly to me:
"Honey, being a woman is all about being sore. Get used to it."
"Love, Lucie had learned over the years, can smother you."
" It is a beautiful gift, thought Anita, to have your mother be your very dearest and best friend. It is quite another to try to be hers. Then you'd have to actaully get to know her. As a real person."
"Sometimes God answers a prayer you didn't know you had."
"We all find ourselves in places we don't expect, Cat. Situations that seem out of our control," she said. "The challenge is making our way out of them."
"Be your own saftey and security! Every woman should have credit in her own name."
"And failure, if you want to know, Dakota, is just another opportunity to try again."
"Stress is not about the situation my dear, it's about the person. There's some who can handle it and there's some who can't."
"Though the old woman was pleased, having learned through the years that a true friendship never really ended. It could always come round again."
"We don't always get what we deserve. Sometimes we get more; sometimes we get less. At least we get something."
"The things is," Anita began quietly, "that when you're young, you always think you'll meet all sorts of wonderful people, that drifting apart and losing friends is natural. You don't worry, at first, about the friends you leave behind. But as you get older, it gets harder to build friendships. Too many defenses, too little opportunity. You get busy. And by the time you realize that you've lost the dearest best friend you've ever had, years have gone by and you're mature enough to be embarrased by your attitude and, frankly, by your arrogance."
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